What is Spirituality?
Hmm, good question! Going into my deep thoughts, I really do not come with an answer. I struggle between the over used word “spirituality”, at our present western culture from what it really is or means.
What does it really mean? or is Spirituality for me or within me? For Us? In the Universe? Is Spirituality at the reach of just anyone? Or just the ascetics? Are we born with it? Or do we acquire it by knowledge? Experience? Practice? To be true to myself, I really do not know. Because I do not think it is about reading books that explain what is Spirituality and then come to my own conclusions, no, this I think, I know!
So, I ask my “insights” trying very hard not to use my intellect too much…
Body, heart… can you guide me in knowing what is Spirituality? What difference is there between or where the line is drawn between a Good Human Being and a Spiritual Person? I can feel it is easier to find an answer if I first start being in contact within me, in how I want to be a good human person to start with..
I will use a guide line that I wrote one night away from the comfort of my own room, at a moment of great sadness and feeling lost:
I need more of -
Love with Compassion
Strength with Tenderness
Intelligence with Wisdom
Drive with Patience
Growth with Guidance
Share with Humbleness
Awakening with Learning
Truth – Honesty with Courage
Willingness with Endurance
Nourishment within Myself
As I grow into being more compassionate, have more tenderness, be more wise, have more patience, seek more Universal guidance, be more humble, open myself to learning, have courage and have endurance, does this it makes me more Spiritual? Or a better human being? A better human being, for sure, more Spiritual… I do not know…
When or where is the “right moment” that I can say I have reached the level where I could say - I AM a compassionate, I am a tender, I am a wise, I am a patient, I am guided, I am a humble, I learn, I have endurance, I am a courageous PERSON?
I feel that a Spiritual person DOES have all these traits with in them, it just eradiate from their deepest pores out to the world to any one and for any one. It is not anymore an act and exercise of “thought”, they ARE, it is just BEING within themselves, all these traits and many more….
Me, still being a “growing person”, I recognize I still have other anchors that I choose to have. These anchors separates me from coming closer not only my “human traits”, but of a possible glimpse of what a Spiritual experience “Is”. My ego, my possessions, my dependencies, my “thinking” mind… that I refer to as my “changing traits”, are not “bad”, they are part of me as well, is just that they do not help me to be the “new” person, I sense, I want to be…
Oh, do not get me wrong, there is not such a thing as “them” and me! I am one whole entity with my ego, possessions, dependencies, mind. These are not ton be blamed the “guilty” ones that keep me away from coming closer to be a deeper human person on the “Spiritual” path No, we are all one! And this for me is one Truth!
I am all these “changing traits” as I am as well all the growing human traits above mentioned. It is a matter of balancing both within me. What and at what extend and when my one side weights more than the other side of me that I want to be at a given moment or at least in this life, finding the more and most universal human traits within me.
My ego – does not want to let go, still thinks and feels “old times” are better. Still wants to protect me by acting harsh, aggressive, pushing people away, only “us” was the message. My ego learned, no one else. Now as a grown up, I need to show and love my ego, into being part of ME as is, US, working together as a whole towards our human traits and not being separated anymore.
My possessions – As of now, to posses at any level as materialism, “academic knowledge”, emotions or even in evaluating human traits DO NOT help me in my profound search or give me any security in any form or way.
I want to learn that “possessions” do not give me security.
Without categorizing me of whom I am, was or want to be, I want to learn that I am just a “medium” by which things come a go, with the only purpose from the Universe for me to use as a growing tool into… “Spirituality”? … I do not know, but I do know, to grow into a more, deep, all heart person.
As of this very moment, as I am writing, I recognize and I feel in my “guts” that my real connection is from within me with God/Universe being greater than me. Thus, possessions of any kind, are, at the very end either futule or just a media by which we can develop into our next mission if we or I am lucky enough to see, to feel, to recognize which is my mission, here and now Not letting possessions get in the way.
My dependencies – have become into my habits and my habits have become what I have believed as my nourishments, love for me, what I deserve, what I am worthy of, in other words, who I deserve to “be”…
So hard to guide my habits into my new - I want to be - into my core human traits. So happy are my “habits” that my ego and believes worked with into this I think I am “being”.
My thinking mind - So, so, smart… so keen in playing games, so willing in just to think false accomplishment feelings of just “think”. My mind is my link to what before was, my guide to survive and my awareness as of my reborn “us”.
She, my mind, needs to learn that “we”, “us” “her and my heart” are a whole unity. Her, my mind, alone, does not survive unless she and ME “my heart”, are willing to make “Us” a whole, a unity. Even though, She, my mind, is important, because she opens doors, I feel she with my heart are the “silver thread”, my “third eye” that creates the unity of “us” as a whole and brings the awareness of the importance of taking action and moving forward. Thoughts are not enough unless they become actions, unless I am honest and truthful to myself. This is why, unless all in me, “us” flows from thoughts into being, I will just go around and around as in a carrousel, blind by the music, color, excitement, risk that the World Fair can bring.
Then, back to my initial question, what is Spirituality? I still do not know, but what I do now know is that as long as I keep working with my “US” I will get closer to my Spiritual “moment”.
Because, I think, or think that I think… at the end, I do not know….or I wish to know, is that an Spiritual person is the one who has been able to overcome, Ego, Attachments of any kind, Habits, Needs of any kind, that has reached Peace and Enlighten within. And I hope that, as I get closer to my own path, I can share, from my must sincere, still to learn, deep humble love, this awareness with other human beings.
Because not being still in the “aura of Spirituality” I would like to share, along the way, all that I am learning with others. The secularity of just being an Spiritual Being, for me, as of now, looses the whole concept of being Spiritual, as I understand that part what makes the fact of being Spiritual is the pure LOVE of capacity of giving back to others what God/Universe has enlightened in and within them.
